I know it is that time of year again
When I walk into the kitchen and she,
With a smile, is hunched over three,
Three pots with husks waiting to drain
Off water and she sweats tears of delight
While she dances around the table.
Dances and dances like she is able
To sway and promenade well through the night.
Yes her hands are covered in masa
From turning and churning until precise,
“Was your grandma who gave me this advice,”
She says as I watch her holding my tasa,
A tasa filled with warm chocolate that
Makes my lips vibrate as I touch the tip.
Into the pot each tamale they slip
And cook for an hour while we chat.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Abuelo
Never did he say a word or smile.
From the bottom of the hill I saw him,
He sat on the steps that lead to the top,
His hair, grey as the moon's light but dirty.
He sat there, sat there with a cane in hand
And a crumpled brown paper bag by him.
His hands that peeked out of his blue blazer,
Darkened by the sun and aged with time, had
A wrinkle for every year of his life.
Every year of his life that he wasted
On his friends José Cuervo and Patron.
A good man when not drinking, they told me.
I never saw him any other way,
Always at the top of the hill he sat
And today was not any different.
I walked up the steps, counted them each, then
I stared at him as he looked down the hill
And I whispered Hola, Abuelo.
From the bottom of the hill I saw him,
He sat on the steps that lead to the top,
His hair, grey as the moon's light but dirty.
He sat there, sat there with a cane in hand
And a crumpled brown paper bag by him.
His hands that peeked out of his blue blazer,
Darkened by the sun and aged with time, had
A wrinkle for every year of his life.
Every year of his life that he wasted
On his friends José Cuervo and Patron.
A good man when not drinking, they told me.
I never saw him any other way,
Always at the top of the hill he sat
And today was not any different.
I walked up the steps, counted them each, then
I stared at him as he looked down the hill
And I whispered Hola, Abuelo.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
And this I saw on a blue August day
And this I saw on a blue August day,
Leaves trembled to the feel of the gust.
Vivid gray clouds, I saw the lightning play.
Yes I stood there, watching the branches sway,
One side to the other, I stared with trust,
And this I saw on a blue August day.
Drops landed on my skin while I lay
And watched as the flashes danced with lust.
Vivid gray clouds, I saw the lightning play.
Swiftly the sun came out but did not stay,
Back inside it went, inside the clouds crust,
And this I saw on a blue August day.
Three one thousand, I heard the boy say
While the howling increased with disgust.
Vivid gray clouds, I saw the lightning play.
Louder and stronger with no delay
I heard the sounds with an absolute must.
And this I saw on a blue August day,
Vivid gray clouds, I saw the lightning play.
Leaves trembled to the feel of the gust.
Vivid gray clouds, I saw the lightning play.
Yes I stood there, watching the branches sway,
One side to the other, I stared with trust,
And this I saw on a blue August day.
Drops landed on my skin while I lay
And watched as the flashes danced with lust.
Vivid gray clouds, I saw the lightning play.
Swiftly the sun came out but did not stay,
Back inside it went, inside the clouds crust,
And this I saw on a blue August day.
Three one thousand, I heard the boy say
While the howling increased with disgust.
Vivid gray clouds, I saw the lightning play.
Louder and stronger with no delay
I heard the sounds with an absolute must.
And this I saw on a blue August day,
Vivid gray clouds, I saw the lightning play.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
hope
I sat on a chair and leaned my head and shoulder against the wall. My mom stood across the room by the window, talking, but my thoughts absorbed me. All of her words were a blur. Only one thing mattered to me in that moment: getting rid of my cast.
After almost two months, the day arrived to remove the extra weight I had been carrying around. My other two surgeries happened before the age of three. Too young to really remember anything so I didn’t know what to expect. This outcome mattered to me more than the others.
“Hey there little lady. Ready to get rid of this thing?” asked Dr. Ashworth, as he walked into the room with Carrie, the nurse, behind him.
“Yes, please!” I said. “Don’t be surprised to find pencils in there. It itched a lot and I didn’t know how to scratch inside.”
Dr. Ashworth laughed, grabbed his stool and came closer. He held my hand in his to examine it. Even with my cast, the palm of his hand dwarfed mine. He grabbed his glasses from his coat pocket and put them on. Carrie handed him the scissors from the table. He pulled his glasses down a little and started cutting the cast. The scissors felt cold against my arm and my body trembled.
“Are you nervous?” Asked Dr. Ashworth.
“I shook because the scissors feel cold, but yes, I am nervous.” I said. “I’m anxious to see what it looks like.”
The cut became clearer and clearer as the cast opened up. When he fully removed it, I felt lightheaded. My mom leaned my head against her and I looked away for a moment. The sight of my arm shocked me. Stitches wrapped around my wrist along with gauze strips. The cut appeared fresh and not healed, like I expected. Colors on my skin collided: red, yellow, green and purple. A button sewn on my arm held a nerve in place. My arm felt frail.
Dr. Ashworth placed my arm on the table with a towel underneath it. I cowardly caught a second glimpse.
“Everything looks great.” He said. “Carrie will clean it off and once you’re ready, she’ll come get me.”
“Am I getting a new cast?” I asked.
“No, I’m going to make a brace and you’ll wear that for another month.” He said. “It’s a lot lighter.”
Dr. Ashworth left and Carrie held my arm to walk me over to the counter. She gently dabbed it with a warm towel and I looked at my arm, unsure of how long it would take to heal. I thought about my new scar and what it would look like. As much as I waited for this day, I felt insecure without my cast. The purpose of the surgery was to give me more confidence; something I didn’t feel.
“You’re all set.” Said Carrie. “I’m going to grab Dr. Ashworth. Once he’s done, I’ll come back in to give you a second appointment.”
I sat and waited for Dr. Ashworth to come in. I looked at my arm and wrist for a while, noticing the details of the cut and stitches. Suddenly, it didn’t seem so bad. I realized it had a purpose. All my past surgeries had eventually served their purpose and I knew this one would, too. I looked at my arm once more and reminded myself that this new scar, after all, would be another story to tell.
After almost two months, the day arrived to remove the extra weight I had been carrying around. My other two surgeries happened before the age of three. Too young to really remember anything so I didn’t know what to expect. This outcome mattered to me more than the others.
“Hey there little lady. Ready to get rid of this thing?” asked Dr. Ashworth, as he walked into the room with Carrie, the nurse, behind him.
“Yes, please!” I said. “Don’t be surprised to find pencils in there. It itched a lot and I didn’t know how to scratch inside.”
Dr. Ashworth laughed, grabbed his stool and came closer. He held my hand in his to examine it. Even with my cast, the palm of his hand dwarfed mine. He grabbed his glasses from his coat pocket and put them on. Carrie handed him the scissors from the table. He pulled his glasses down a little and started cutting the cast. The scissors felt cold against my arm and my body trembled.
“Are you nervous?” Asked Dr. Ashworth.
“I shook because the scissors feel cold, but yes, I am nervous.” I said. “I’m anxious to see what it looks like.”
The cut became clearer and clearer as the cast opened up. When he fully removed it, I felt lightheaded. My mom leaned my head against her and I looked away for a moment. The sight of my arm shocked me. Stitches wrapped around my wrist along with gauze strips. The cut appeared fresh and not healed, like I expected. Colors on my skin collided: red, yellow, green and purple. A button sewn on my arm held a nerve in place. My arm felt frail.
Dr. Ashworth placed my arm on the table with a towel underneath it. I cowardly caught a second glimpse.
“Everything looks great.” He said. “Carrie will clean it off and once you’re ready, she’ll come get me.”
“Am I getting a new cast?” I asked.
“No, I’m going to make a brace and you’ll wear that for another month.” He said. “It’s a lot lighter.”
Dr. Ashworth left and Carrie held my arm to walk me over to the counter. She gently dabbed it with a warm towel and I looked at my arm, unsure of how long it would take to heal. I thought about my new scar and what it would look like. As much as I waited for this day, I felt insecure without my cast. The purpose of the surgery was to give me more confidence; something I didn’t feel.
“You’re all set.” Said Carrie. “I’m going to grab Dr. Ashworth. Once he’s done, I’ll come back in to give you a second appointment.”
I sat and waited for Dr. Ashworth to come in. I looked at my arm and wrist for a while, noticing the details of the cut and stitches. Suddenly, it didn’t seem so bad. I realized it had a purpose. All my past surgeries had eventually served their purpose and I knew this one would, too. I looked at my arm once more and reminded myself that this new scar, after all, would be another story to tell.
Man
The cellar door rattles with the breezes
Man hears the sounds and pauses a moment
Chimes clear as the wolf salamanders in
Man hears the sounds and pauses a moment
Chimes clear as the wolf salamanders in
Friday, September 11, 2009
She saw day.
She was nine. She
Did fine. She
Worked late. She
Had faith. She
Said soon. She
Sang tune. She
Would pray. She
Saw day.
Did fine. She
Worked late. She
Had faith. She
Said soon. She
Sang tune. She
Would pray. She
Saw day.
1987
I do recall
the days
in the heat
of summer
in which
we would swing
endlessly
til nighttime
Remember
with our ponytails
so alive
in the breeze
the days
in the heat
of summer
in which
we would swing
endlessly
til nighttime
Remember
with our ponytails
so alive
in the breeze
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